You will, every once and a while, see a “random” post that just doesn’t make any sense, especially in light of what my blog is about. The elderly, our parents, or whomever, that we are now an address with.
My profile alerted you to my owning a Big Rig, that I don’t drive it, have a wonderful driver, but it does give me its share of grief, and I’m never amazed by the two cents my Dad will throw in, especially because owning a Big Rig and being a woman do not go hand in hand.
She broke down last weekened, with the ultimate problem (this time) being the #5 Injector. $710 later, and a couple of hours, she was “on the road again,” only to literally break down Monday night south of Santa Barbara. Add in a $1,056 tow bill, it was determined that the #5 Injector that was put in on Saturday was B-A-D, and was replaced, “free of charge” to me, except for the $1,000+ in towing fees. My mechanic is going back to the vendor, in this case Freightliner (or so I’m told) to have his part replaced for free (something to do with a warranty...you think so? After 2 days...), and I need your advice.
Should my mechanic also get the Freightliner folks to reimburse me the $1,056 towing fee, or do you think the mechanic did something wrong, and is just blaming the Freightliner part? Of course upon hearing the #5 Injector went out, Dad pipes in with, “they don’t cost more than $100,” but he thought the injector was for my Kia, not my Big Rig (listen up, Dad...).
Please share your thoughts, suggestions and ideas on how I might be able to recoup that money. With diesel fuel what it is, and getting 6 miles to the gallon, do I really also need a $1,000+ tow bill when it wasn’t anything that either myself, my driver or the rig actually did?
I’m listening and thanks in advance to all for putting thought into this for me!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
“More Parents Move In”
“In the 1990’s, your family came for dinner. Now they’re moving in.”
The number of parents, siblings and other relatives who live with adult head of households grew 42% from 2000 to 2007, according to data released today by the U.S. Census Bureau.
Leading the way: parents, up 67%, to 3.6 million.
The figures suggest it isn’t only elderly parents moving in. The number of parents under 65 in these households increased by 75%, and those 65 and older were up 62%. Both groups outpaced the number of people in family households overall, which is up 6% since 2000.
“This is just a major trend,” says Stephanie Coontz, a family history professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA., who directs research at the Council on Contemporary Families.
Coontz suspects that a host of factors – among them higher housing costs and the USA’s struggling economy – are prompting families to combine expenses. Also, intergenerational households are common among the country’s growing number of immigrants, she says.
But Coontz also notes that parent-child relationships are closer now than in the past. The downside, she says, is the emergence of the so-called helicopter parent who may hover too closely, but the upside is a tighter bond between generations, and in many cases, closer friendships between grown children and their parents. “I don’t know how many of my students have told me, ‘this may sound weird, but I talk to my parents more than I talk to my friends’.”
The average size of both families and households grew from 2000 to 2007, the data show, after shrinking slightly in the 1990’s. The average family in 2007 had 3.2 people, up from 3.14 in 2000. The average household, which includes those in which someone lives alone, had 2.61 people in 2007, up from 2.59 in 2000.
Among other factors changing households:
A 40% increase in the number of other live-in relatives, including the head of household’s mother-in-law or father-in-law, to 6.8 million.
A 24% increase in the number of live-in brothers and sisters, to 3.5 million in 2007.
An 8% increase in non-relatives, including unmarried partners and roommates, to 6.2 million.
Alaska has the highest percentage change in parents living with householders, up 167%. South Dakota had the lowest, still up 7%.
The Census Bureau’s annual American Community Survey collects data from about 3 million U.S. households each year.
Find this article at:
http://www.usatoday.com/printededition/news/20080923/1a_bottom23.art.htm?loc=interstitialskip
The number of parents, siblings and other relatives who live with adult head of households grew 42% from 2000 to 2007, according to data released today by the U.S. Census Bureau.
Leading the way: parents, up 67%, to 3.6 million.
The figures suggest it isn’t only elderly parents moving in. The number of parents under 65 in these households increased by 75%, and those 65 and older were up 62%. Both groups outpaced the number of people in family households overall, which is up 6% since 2000.
“This is just a major trend,” says Stephanie Coontz, a family history professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA., who directs research at the Council on Contemporary Families.
Coontz suspects that a host of factors – among them higher housing costs and the USA’s struggling economy – are prompting families to combine expenses. Also, intergenerational households are common among the country’s growing number of immigrants, she says.
But Coontz also notes that parent-child relationships are closer now than in the past. The downside, she says, is the emergence of the so-called helicopter parent who may hover too closely, but the upside is a tighter bond between generations, and in many cases, closer friendships between grown children and their parents. “I don’t know how many of my students have told me, ‘this may sound weird, but I talk to my parents more than I talk to my friends’.”
The average size of both families and households grew from 2000 to 2007, the data show, after shrinking slightly in the 1990’s. The average family in 2007 had 3.2 people, up from 3.14 in 2000. The average household, which includes those in which someone lives alone, had 2.61 people in 2007, up from 2.59 in 2000.
Among other factors changing households:
A 40% increase in the number of other live-in relatives, including the head of household’s mother-in-law or father-in-law, to 6.8 million.
A 24% increase in the number of live-in brothers and sisters, to 3.5 million in 2007.
An 8% increase in non-relatives, including unmarried partners and roommates, to 6.2 million.
Alaska has the highest percentage change in parents living with householders, up 167%. South Dakota had the lowest, still up 7%.
The Census Bureau’s annual American Community Survey collects data from about 3 million U.S. households each year.
Find this article at:
http://www.usatoday.com/printededition/news/20080923/1a_bottom23.art.htm?loc=interstitialskip
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Senior Driving
(From AAA's Westways Magazine)
Senior CarFit
To commemorate Senior Safe Mobility Week, October 19-25, 2008, the Auto Club is co-sponsoring the first ever CarFit event on the Central Coast. Scheduled for October 18 at the Goleta Valley Community Center (California), the program will teach seniors how to drive more safely and comfortably.
For more information about this event, contact the Auto Club Community Affairs at 714.885.2312.
This sounds like something our Senior(s) should attend if at all possible, and I'd like to gently suggest you go with them. This could very well lead to an unwelcome discovery, that at whatever tender age they may be, perhaps they need to hang their keys up permanently. On the other hand, it could give us some peace of mind if/when we discover that our Senior is still well within driving safely and comfortably.
Please let me know if you and your Senior attend, and how informative, comprehensive and enjoyable it may have been for all involved.
Thank you,
Senior CarFit
To commemorate Senior Safe Mobility Week, October 19-25, 2008, the Auto Club is co-sponsoring the first ever CarFit event on the Central Coast. Scheduled for October 18 at the Goleta Valley Community Center (California), the program will teach seniors how to drive more safely and comfortably.
For more information about this event, contact the Auto Club Community Affairs at 714.885.2312.
This sounds like something our Senior(s) should attend if at all possible, and I'd like to gently suggest you go with them. This could very well lead to an unwelcome discovery, that at whatever tender age they may be, perhaps they need to hang their keys up permanently. On the other hand, it could give us some peace of mind if/when we discover that our Senior is still well within driving safely and comfortably.
Please let me know if you and your Senior attend, and how informative, comprehensive and enjoyable it may have been for all involved.
Thank you,
Friday, September 5, 2008
“Driving Age”
(From the CA DMV website) – “Did You Know that there are more than 5.5
million drivers over the age of 55 in California? More than 2.5 million
are 70 or older.”
This is a very, very touchy subject at my house, but a concern for everyone who has a driver license. “At what age should driving privileges be revoked?” or more important, should the driving privileges of an elderly person ever be revoked? That’s certainly a ‘loaded’ question, and that’s our topic today.
Regardless of what the elder tells you, the consensus is that over 70 (I picked that age) a driver’s ability to react swiftly, accurately and without hesitation diminishes drastically. That almost goes without saying, but I feel it needs to be stated and re-stated. At a certain age, and that age could be different for all elderly people, their ability to be “safe” on the road becomes a concern for us all.
My Dad was a terrible driver in the 70’s, so trust me when I say that he hasn’t gotten any better, and in fact, I worry every time he gets behind the wheel of his car. (We’re going to leave his choice of cars for a different topic.)
My Dad has a valid Arizona Driver License, but not a valid California Driver License. He simply could not pass the behind-the-wheel test at our local DMV office, but of course he says it’s because they’re “out to get him.” My Dad thinks everyone’s ‘out to get him,’ from the DMV to the corner mini-mart. That translates into difficult and argumentative conversations, but those are for later, too.
So I gently remind Dad that he has 10 days in CA to get a valid DL if he’s a resident. He moved from NM to AZ to CA once my Mom died in 2004. He’s been in CA for almost 2 years, but still drives on the AZ license, which I might add, doesn’t expire until he’s 96! What is that state thinking? No wonder when their residents come to CA we’re forever honking and telling them to get the hell out of the way. I think AZ lets their residents drive until they die behind the wheel (kidding, just kidding).
The CA DMV has great resources for the “Senior Driver” that are available here. If you’re in another state I encourage you to search your local Department of Motor Vehicles for specific Senior Driver information, or send a comment or e-mail and I’ll try to find it for you. Remember to tell me what state I’m searching for.
Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not saying that all ‘elderly’ people should give up their driving. My Dad firmly believes it’s his right to drive, and I believe he has to earn the right to drive in this state. That’s why there are rules, regulations, laws and testing to be sure that any individual, regardless of their age, is capable of doing just that. All of us on the roadways have the right to be safe, so that 90 year old in the next lane, going 25 on I10, needs to pass the same tests I do, and maybe even more. I don’t know about you, but I want to be absolutely certain, or as certain as I can be, that all elderly have undergone the same testing requirements as I have, or whatever each state deems necessary in order to ensure they are still “capable” of driving at that age.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Possibility or a Reality?
Have you recently either a) moved in with your (elderly) parents, or b) had your parents move in with you? Have you faced the “challenge” of your parent(s) getting older and resembling someone you barely know? Have you been faced with your parent(s) declining health or mental status? Have you been faced with a poor (or rich) economic standing of your parent(s)?
You’re not alone! Either moving in with, or having them move in with you has almost become the ‘norm’ today, and it seems to be the way a lot of us (or our parents) are either choosing to do, or doing it out of necessity, that brings many challenges that have to be faced by all parties.
This is what this blog is about; I will preface this blog with the fact that I am not a ‘professional writer,’ though it’s been a lifelong dream of mine to “pen” something, and I once read that “Within every Gemini is the ability to write a really good trashy novel.” Yes, I’m a Gemini, but please don’t let that deter you.
I have had both parents live with me, when they were both (almost) at death’s door, only to have them up and leave to live with a younger sibling, to now having my almost 92-year old father living with me. I am certainly no authority, at least not yet, on this subject, but I’m confident that together, we can all ensure our sanity and we’ll all get through this changing time in our lives.
I will concede as well, that it can’t be easy on our parent(s) if they’ve had to move in with us, but that’s no excuse for some of what I’ve encountered in the 18 mos. since my father moved in.
I’m a widow with 2 adult children at home, and 2 (precious and beautiful) grandsons, ages 8 & 23 mos., at home. We live in a 4-bedroom, 2 bath mobile home in Southern California, in the Inland Empire, where we experience extremely high temperatures, as well as extremely low temperatures (30’s). We’re in a 4 Star park, and live like any other neighborhood in the US. I’m sure we’re also not unique in our situation, though I can’t find anyone to share my trials and tribulations with, so I figured ‘I’d do it myself,’ and this was born.
I hope you’ll not only join this journey, but take an active part in it by sharing your experiences, or by letting me know that this is something you find yourself faced with and are struggling to make the “right” decision. By “right” decision, I mean not only for you and your family if you have one, but for your parent(s). This is not an easy thing to do, but the alternatives aren’t always better, either.
If your parent(s) are not financially stable, the alternatives are too horrendous to consider. If they cannot afford to keep their home (as an example), where can they go? Assisted living?
Would you want to do that, when elder abuse has become an issue in America, not to mention the cost (+$2,500/mo). Living with other elderly (as in sharing a home) “strangers” that could rob them blind, murder them in their sleep, poison them…see where I’m going with this? We almost don’t have a choice but to take them in, do we? Could you live with yourself if you turned one or both of your parents away because you didn’t want to be “bothered” with them, didn’t have the room, didn’t have the time? Trust me; if you have a conscience, you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if they weren’t in your care.
You’re not alone! Either moving in with, or having them move in with you has almost become the ‘norm’ today, and it seems to be the way a lot of us (or our parents) are either choosing to do, or doing it out of necessity, that brings many challenges that have to be faced by all parties.
This is what this blog is about; I will preface this blog with the fact that I am not a ‘professional writer,’ though it’s been a lifelong dream of mine to “pen” something, and I once read that “Within every Gemini is the ability to write a really good trashy novel.” Yes, I’m a Gemini, but please don’t let that deter you.
I have had both parents live with me, when they were both (almost) at death’s door, only to have them up and leave to live with a younger sibling, to now having my almost 92-year old father living with me. I am certainly no authority, at least not yet, on this subject, but I’m confident that together, we can all ensure our sanity and we’ll all get through this changing time in our lives.
I will concede as well, that it can’t be easy on our parent(s) if they’ve had to move in with us, but that’s no excuse for some of what I’ve encountered in the 18 mos. since my father moved in.
I’m a widow with 2 adult children at home, and 2 (precious and beautiful) grandsons, ages 8 & 23 mos., at home. We live in a 4-bedroom, 2 bath mobile home in Southern California, in the Inland Empire, where we experience extremely high temperatures, as well as extremely low temperatures (30’s). We’re in a 4 Star park, and live like any other neighborhood in the US. I’m sure we’re also not unique in our situation, though I can’t find anyone to share my trials and tribulations with, so I figured ‘I’d do it myself,’ and this was born.
I hope you’ll not only join this journey, but take an active part in it by sharing your experiences, or by letting me know that this is something you find yourself faced with and are struggling to make the “right” decision. By “right” decision, I mean not only for you and your family if you have one, but for your parent(s). This is not an easy thing to do, but the alternatives aren’t always better, either.
If your parent(s) are not financially stable, the alternatives are too horrendous to consider. If they cannot afford to keep their home (as an example), where can they go? Assisted living?
Would you want to do that, when elder abuse has become an issue in America, not to mention the cost (+$2,500/mo). Living with other elderly (as in sharing a home) “strangers” that could rob them blind, murder them in their sleep, poison them…see where I’m going with this? We almost don’t have a choice but to take them in, do we? Could you live with yourself if you turned one or both of your parents away because you didn’t want to be “bothered” with them, didn’t have the room, didn’t have the time? Trust me; if you have a conscience, you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if they weren’t in your care.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Introduction
(From The Orange County Register)
Room for parents. High housing costs and a lack of retirement funding may see boomers moving in with their adult kids - not the other way around. University of California, Irvine, profession John Graham has been studying the situation since 1997 and concludes that many aging boomers will begin moving in with their children en masse in the next five years.
That's what this is all about, and I strongly encourage everyone to get involved, because if it's not happening to you yet, it will, and you need to be prepared. Let's work together, and let's "talk" about this.
Room for parents. High housing costs and a lack of retirement funding may see boomers moving in with their adult kids - not the other way around. University of California, Irvine, profession John Graham has been studying the situation since 1997 and concludes that many aging boomers will begin moving in with their children en masse in the next five years.
That's what this is all about, and I strongly encourage everyone to get involved, because if it's not happening to you yet, it will, and you need to be prepared. Let's work together, and let's "talk" about this.
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